Tag Archives: Thailand

Should Thai food be eaten near the beach?

Should Thai food be eaten near the beach?

When you see pictures of Thailand, you see picture perfect beaches, temples, and busy urban streets. But, the parts of Thailand everyone wants to go to are the beaches it seems. I have never been to Thailand, but I’m surrounded by Thai people and Thai culture right here in Los Angeles.

Since Thailand has a very long coastline, and many famous beaches near Phuket down South, it just seems that Thai food just isn’t the same if you don’t eat it near a beach. Hmm.

In any case, I have Thai food all the time in the city, but a discussion on Twitter made me think that I need to eat it on the beach. I tweeted that Thai food “should” be eaten on a beach and a few others replied that they agreed.

So, I headed down to our closest approachable beach. Santa Monica beach is the closest in miles, but parking is a huge problem. That is why I normally hang out at Pacific Palisades another mile or two up the shore when I go to the ocean. Last time I was driving around that area, I decided to head a little further

West into Malibu. I hadn’t been there for a long time. I had fun at both of Malibu’s Starbucks and on the way back spotted some Thai restaurants. The only thought that went through my head was that I needed to try one of those restaurants.

So, tonight, I finally tried one. I went to Cholada Thai Beach Cuisine. There is another Thai place a little further down the road which I’ll try next time. I ordered red curry sea bass. It was delicious. The brown rice looked more like black rice, but went very well with the coconut milk sauce.

I sat in the patio in the back, but in an elevated wooden structure that was kind of like a cross between a balcony and a cabana. The view from my seat was of hills, palm trees and the ocean. The view looked like photos of parts of Thailand a little bit. I asked the waitress if Thailand looked like this. She said there were lots of resorts near Phuket, and that it was more “fantasy.” Furthermore, the vibe near the ocean is very calming, just like the Thai culture.

Although I love Thai food anywhere, it was a different experience having it near the water. I feel that you “should” eat Thai food on the coast at least once to get that unique experience.

On a final note, I feel that this restaurant should have a few Mexican-Thai fusion dishes like a chili basil en-cholada, since their name is Cholada.

What would a fake Thailand be like?

Welcome to Clip-on Thai Land

I have never been to real Thailand, but I thought it would be amusing to write a travelogue about fake Thailand. Almost everything in fake Thailand is fake, hence the name — fake Thailand.

Plexiglass noodles & other cuisine
If you order glass noodles with chicken, you’ll get chicken was made out of a tofu substitute which they pan fry with some plexiglass noodles. I’ve heard of artificial meat, but I draw the line at fake glass noodles.

The pad Thai would be missing all of the critical ingredients except for noodles. No ground peanuts, no spicy sauce, no shredded carrots, and no lime. This fraudulent excuse for a noodle dish would be one big lie!

Another sham of an imitation of a real noodle dish. This dish simply would not be Rad-na. It would have wide noodles, but no gravy, pepper, spices, or broccoli. It would be Rad-Not!

Drunken Noodles
The drunken noodles are cooked on a hot rock like Mongolian BBQ. So, they’re stoned, not drunk.

Other Dishes
You would be served non-adhesive mango sticky rice cooked on non-stick pan after you finished your egg rolls served with a something’s fishy sauce.

The hill tribes lived on a plain, and then used a movie set of hills in the background. How disappointing. But, they did have real looking costumes and embroidery at least. So, not everything was fake. All of the beach lovers headed over to Faux-Ket to stay at a resort next to the beach.

In the large cities, there would be fake prostitutes with fake AIDS. What a concept. I’m not sure how they would create a fake AIDS, but this is a fantasy article, so there would be a way.

The main Buddhist temple in Bangkok had a really large TV screen showing the Buddha instead of having a huge Buddha statue like normal temples. Virtual Buddhas — What will they think of next? They even had imitation monks at the temple. The monks were government officials wearing Buddhist robes who were pretending to meditate.

Fake degrees
In real Thailand, you can get a fake pilot’s license for 20 Baht. In fake Thailand, you can also get a fake degree or license, however the money would also be fake.

Sham elections
In real Thailand there are sham elections. But, in fake Thailand there would be sham sham elections if there can be such a thing — not to mention a fake coup.

Culinary terms would adapt as well
Yellow curry duck would become Quack Massuman. And fake Vietnamese noodles would be Pho’-ny, or faux pho’.

In any case, I’ve heard that the real Thailand has nice people, great beaches, and amazing food. But, this fake Thailand… Hmmm. I’m not so sure about it.